I’m running away I live in Indiana what states near by are safe I’m 12 no comments?
07.06.2025 17:19
Jamie G
If you do decide to run away, please know that both Men and Women may offer to help you. At the time, I was baffled, how did these people coming up to me even know I was alone and on my own. Looking back as an adult and parent it was so very easy, but I did not know then what I know now. Sixteen year old kids are rarely out at 2:00 a.m. on a random Tuesday at a Freeway Rest Stop etc.
I got a job in Sales.
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As I said, I was crying then and I am crying now… Yes, as I write this because EVERYTHING that has happened good to me AFTER that day WAS BECAUSE OF HER and her family’s love and kindnesses. I was welcomed into her crazy home of Jeff, John, Renee, Colleen, Sara and Mr. & Mrs. ArmXXXXXX; Add in five cats, six dogs and two birds and that is where I lived for months and months. They took me in on 12/16, it was Sunday. Within a couple weeks, it was Christmas morning, I watched as they all started opening their presents. I was so happy to be WARM, to be Fed! To Be loved! I was so content to have a warm place to go to the bathroom and I was thankful for so much more, which I now realize was really just the LOVE that they gave unconditionally.
Again, you see it’s not what you have planned for, it’s about what CAN happen TO YOU. Remember the two jobs I had, the first was at a gas station, but I got fired. Then the other job at the restaurant, then cut my hours. Again MORE unintended consequences and these are what derail most run-away’s. Those AND the evil bastards who are out there looking, waiting and seeking out run away kids and teens. Yes, I know that sounds like a movie line, but I LIVED it. It’s true and it’s more horrible than a movie because it is real. It’s more real than I can probably communicate to you. But this is important, you need to KNOW and UNDERSTAND what you face if you choose to runaway. So one more quick story because I need you to really understand what awaits you.
In the summer before my senior year in high school, I had had enough. My stepmother’s rules were literally insane. Rule 1: You cannot wash your hair or take a shower before school unless it is 60 degrees or warmer. We lived in Michigan, from November to April it is rarely above 60 degrees. I could go on and on with her insane rules, but I decided to leave after my Junior Year. I had a job, I had a car, I had literally thousands of dollars in my bank account.
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Why do I want you to ask yourself this?
All my Love & Kindness
I started my senior year of high school, and then… driving back and forth got too costly and things were not working out well with ME and my grandparents, I was 16-17 years old and they were in their 70’s. If I were not home by a certain time, I think it was 8 p.m., they would lock the door and take out their hearing aids and they would be asleep, I was not given a key (If you are not given a key, you are not trusted, nor do you feel wanted). Since I had no way to get in, I started having to find other places to sleep and stay. In Sept-October it was alright, but it gets COLD in Michigan. Sleeping in my Ford Pinto got to be more than problematic. Even at sixteen, I was not stupid, so I bought a US Marine cold-weather sleeping bag (Again, I was not stupid), I was surviving. It was cold, but kind-of-manageable or that is what I thought. My car was a typical 16 year old’s car, it was rusty and crappy, but it ran. The problem really wasn’t “sleeping” it was problematic when you had to go to the bathroom at 3:00 a.m. Number Two. Where do you go? Back then restaurants were not 24 hours, only Denny’s and the Truck Stop near where I live off US 275.
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3) After completing my enlistment in the USMC, I worked construction in CA, then worked for Pepsi Cola in TN, THEN my Friend who originally helped me move out of my parent’s home (Larry), he called me from out-of-state in his Senior Year of College (He was attending Eastern Michigan University) and he told me, “You are missing out on all the fun, COME TO COLLEGE! You can stay with me until you get your own place etc..”
So I just sat and watched them… Then, well, then they all stopped. ALL OF THEM. The never-ever-quiet room was pin-drop silent, and Colleen (Jeff’s older sister) she asked me, “Aren’t you going to open any of YOUR presents?” I thought she was making fun of me, but she threw me a package that had my name on it To Jamie LOVE Santa Claus. It was brand new snow skiing goggles. The ArmXXXX family were snow skiers and I had gone along a couple times.
1) I graduated High School. Yes I had to take one class in Summer School, but I walked with my friends in my Class! Sadly, my GPA was 2.66, so not great, but I got that damn High School diploma.
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If you have not read my other posts, please read then after this bit of advice; It is NOT what we planned for that kicks our ass, it is the unintended consequences of our actions that surprise us and end up kicking the shit out of you. DO NOT RUN-AWAY! Why? READ ON!
I remember SCREAMING on the inside, I was more than crushed, I could not breathe, I was devastated. It took ALL I had to make it through that one year, I was SUPPOSED To go back to my Mom! It was the drive and motivator to keep me going throughout all the punishments and bullshit abuse, but I TOOK IT and I took it because I knew this shit was going to end. Obviously, it did not end. I felt betrayed as I was abandoned.
One evening, we had freezing rain, and I was unable to get into my car, I was pushing on the door, obviously too hard and CRACK! BAM! My driver’s side window shattered. I sat there and looked around, it was 7:00 p.m., it was dark, remember it was November in Michigan. I did not know what to do, So I got into the passenger side, pushed my seat back, got into my sleeping bag and went to sleep. I awoke in the morning to a snowdrift on my driver’s side. A Full 2 feet of snow was IN MY CAR! I remember this like it was yesterday. I poked my face out of the little hole in my sleeping bag and there I was sitting next to a snowbank IN my car. I was NOT able to fix my window as it would have been a lot of $$, but I got some Plexiglas from Meijer’s (It was like an early Target in MI and OH) I bought some caulk and I “fixed” It best I could, but it was enough to 1) See though the plexiglass and 2) Stop the snow and rain from getting in. I share this as this was a big unintended consequence of me trying to live on my own.
It was Mrs. ArmXXXXXX that I was looking up at… She did not “say” anything, She just got down on my level and hugged me. She hugged me for a long time.
4) Within six weeks of Larry’s offer, I moved from TN where I was working for Pepsi Cola, to Ann Arbor Michigan, to where Eastern Michigan University (EMU) is and I lived with my friend, three-months later I got my own apartment with three other roommates and I started attending Washtenaw County Community College, where I excelled. On a lark, I applied to EMU, AND I was “Accepted!”. This was May and my asshole dad was now dying of untreatable Cancer. In the months before his diagnosis we had started talking again, and we had semi-made-up, I got to share with him why I left and he apologized. I was fortunate as I was able to tell him I was “accepted” at EMU and would start in the fall, He was very proud, but then he died on June 26.
After Football Camp, came Two-a-day Practices, this is where you practice starting at 8:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., then break for 1.5 hours, then get back at it from 1:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m., then it was September and the senior year of high school started, I was a senior who lived two towns away and drove to and from school, every day.
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Fast Forward to the last day of football camp, I am packed-up and sitting on the curb, just sitting there over where everyone else was getting picked up. I am just sitting there because I knew, I did not have a ride coming. It has been nearly 30 years since that day and I STILL fully remember my feelings and watching car-by-car-by-car pick up their player, the hugs and kisses, then they would drive off. I’m young, I’m scared to ask anyone for help, so I am again, just sitting there. I watch as nearly all of the seniors are picked up and gone, There are maybe 12 of us left and Jeff ArmXXXXX (a Sophomore). He walks over and starts talking to me. He was a really friendly good guy, he can tell something is wrong with me and asks, “When are you parents going to get here to pick you up?” I remember looking up at him, squinting in the August sun and saying, “Jeff, no one is coming to get me. I chose to come to this camp knowing I had no ride home.” At about the same second I get that sentence out. Jeff turns and sees his mom and dad’s white van and he jumps up and runs over to his stuff, he grabs his stuff, throws it in the back of the van, then jumps in and waves to me… I wave back and we say the obligatory, “I will see you back at school!” He and his family then drove off. I sighed and sat back down, I watch the last of the people get picked up until there are just two of us waiting. The leaders at the camp come and check on us, I lie and say “They will be here anytime…” (This is pre-cell phone and they took my word). Then too-quickly, it is just ME, sitting there waiting for a ride that was never going to come. I must have sat there for another 15 minutes until I shrugged my shoulders, picked up my bag, strapped it on and turned to start walking towards home.
As I looked at my new cool snow goggles a HUGE realization hit me, The ArmXXXXX Family not only took me in, fed me and treated me like one of their children, but they gave me a Christmas! At about that time of my realization… Jeff and Colleen ran into the other room and came back carrying something draped in a sheet. They Tore the Sheet off and come to find out The ArmXXXXX family had purchased me “Jamie” a pair of Rossignol Ariel downhill snow skis, they bought me: boots, bindings poles, a hat, gloves, and goggles etc. I just sat there and cried, similar to what I am doing now as I write this, but then my tears were of joy, my tears now are different, they were a true and real blessing and they saved this young man.
Leaving your home and “running away” is scary as hell. I say that meaning from the moment you leave home; you realize you cannot go back because your pride gets in the way… I “ran away” from home at 16 years old, (more like I packed my shit and drove away from home). You see I had 2 part-time jobs, a running car, $5,000.00 in the bank and I had a place to stay, my grandparents’ home (Approximately 12 miles from my original home base). I also had an older roommate that I would eventually live with after my grandparents wanted me in the house by 8:00 p.m. or I had to find another place to sleep. Just know that unintended consequences are what will knock you on your ass, mostly because you do not see them coming and at my young age I had no real way to deal with them…
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Allow me to continue…
7) I have worked for the many companies: Motorola, MCI WorldCom, Verizon, AT&T, Kimberly-Clark, Equifax and on and on… I currently (as I write this) am married, we have two boys, one is 14-years old and the other is 16-years old (And now driving). I cannot imagine my 16-year-old considering what you are considering, and as such I am afraid for all teens. No one should ever have to go through what I did at such a young age. - - I am not a huge religious guy, I consider myself much more spiritual, and I do not know you, but my young friend, I am PRAYING that you find the wisdom to Learn FROM what happened to me, IF ONLY… so you DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE and ENDURE what happened to me!
KNOW THIS - Without Mrs. ArmXXXXX’s entrance, enagement and Insistence in my Life, I am not sure what would have become of me. I know this and I know it to be true, I may have died in my 1972 Ford Pinto before I ever would have asked my bitch step-monster or un-engaged asshole Dad for help. BUT because of Mrs. ArmXXXXX and her loving family, the following has occurred in my life:
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I was more at-ease as it was a couple, a man and a woman in their early 30s. Let me tell you they were not really wanting to “Help me.” They pretended to help me, this “help” can go on for days or weeks, BUT UNDERSTAND, they are ONLY helping you to then get you to do whatever they want you to do! Here is where it gets to feel like a movie, these evil bastards are not wanting to help you, they want to groom you. They want you to do whatever they tell you to do. This could include robbing other people, robbing stores, but the main reason they offer to help is they aim to turn young teens into their prostitutes and sex workers, many times they use drugs to get you addicted. It does not matter if you are a girl or a boy and it works like this:
It was weird then, I wanted to know “How did they know I was on my own and that I left my home?” Therefore, I was really suspicious, but I (as most runaways) I needed help and they were offering. I mean, HOW could I turn down their offer?
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This occurred at the start of my 6th grade year, I was forlorn, I was depressed, I was angry... My world was completely turned upside-down.
They are older, smarter and stronger and if drugs are not your thing, (As they were not mine) These older and bigger people who had OFFERED me HELP, and fed me, they also gave me a place to stay for a few days. I did not want their drugs, so instead, they will beat me up. A man and a woman who had JUST helped me days previously, were beating the shit out of me. They hit me with a wood spindle (Think a thinner baseball bat), But there is the truth, these people will beat on you, until you do whatever they tell you to do or want you to do. Please read that again. They will beat you so hard and for so long that you will think you are going to die. Then at that point, You will most-certainly DO whatever they want you to do, IF ONLY to get them to just stop hitting & beating on you.
6) I worked for CellularOne, then Airtouch, then onto Verizon Wireless. I moved to Training, Learning and Employee Development, while working Corporate America
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I was an athlete in high school, I ran track, I played soccer, football and I wrestled. So this 17 year old athlete was beaten so badly that I went unconscious at least twice. It all happened so fast and so violently, that I just did not react. I awoke bloody and battered with my face in the carpet. it was night and as I got up from the carpet I was face-down on = everything hurt. I did not know where I was or what happened to me, but I was getting out of that room before anyone came back to beat me again, I was not able to get up, I was dizzy, my head was hurting, but I made a decision, get out of die trying. The room I was in had a small dresser (like a bedside table), I finally got to my feet and I picked that up and I threw it through the window, I jumped down into the bushes from this apartment I was in and I ran into the night.
I THOUGHT I was able to cover it all, I was angry, I was hurt, I hated her rules and her, so I left my home. I left on June 16th – my friend Larry and I packed my 1972 Ford Pinto with everything I owned, and I drove away. I won’t lie, that Summer was the BEST of my life. I worked A LOT, and I made good money. In fact, it was a warm wonderful summer in Michigan, and I WAS FREE! It was so nice July and August, I could sleep in my car, when and if I needed. I had two jobs, so I thought I had the world by the balls. I even paid for my own Senior Year High School Football Camp, I paid the $600.00 myself for the Football camp, but was told NO attendees could drive to/from the camp, so I could not drive… I did not have people who cared about me, so no one was willing to pick me up from the camp that I paid for, it was approximately 2-3 hours away. (I went anyway, knowing I had no ride home!)
So what does a 16-year old do when this happens? Many might have gone sniveling back to their dad and step-monster, as I look back let me add, “The Smart one would have gone back to their parents..’ But not this guy…
Please take a few minutes to read what happened to me, when I left my home at sixteen years old!
Looking back as an adult, my Mom certainly abandoned me and left me at my dad’s house while she lived HER life in California. Additionally, my Stepmother was very WRONG in so much she did to me, and how she treated me and abused me (Mostly verbal and emotional, but there was some physical abuse). Thankfully, as I got older (I was 35 years old) when my relationship with my Step-monster changed, my father had long-since died, and SHE changed, so that after my sons were born, she came and visited me and she admitted all this to me before she died a few years ago. Cancer got her after her fifth bout (Sadly, by her 4th bout I understood her actions and forgave her for her transgressions against me as a young boy), then she died, but she died knowing I forgave her. I tell you all this as context as to WHY I want you to understand, you have asked the wrong question to this Forum. As you are not yet 18 years old and no matter whether you are sixteen like I was or 11 or 13 or 15, you are not an adult and you will not be treated like one until you are 18 years old or you get yourself in front of a Judge who proclaims you a legally emancipated minor.
5) He died in June, I started EMU In Sept of that same year. Three years later, I graduated EMU with three majors: Political Science (Pre-Law), Business Law and Communications. That Degree allowed me to enter Corporate America and I took the advice of Judge Barr who I was clerking for (He was the Ypsilanti, MI City’s Attorney) and he told me, “Do not go straight to Law School, do something else first.” And I listened to him! However, I was proud to have been accepted at both the Louisiana State University (LSU) and Arizona State University’s Law Schools! BUT in lieu of starting Law School,
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None. You are twelve years old and will not be taken seriously by any good adult. ONLY bad adults will offer to help you, in fact, they will seek you out and “help you.” There are no ways for you to be on-your-own, if not an emancipated minor. You are too young for that, but please know that there ARE worse things than what you may be facing at home. (I caveat all of this IF you are being sexually or otherwise abused), if you are seek help from other family members that love you and that YOU Trust! Talk to a Teacher or Counselor, but YOU deserve to NOT BE ABUSED. If you are not being physically or sexually abused then please read my story as it might help you…
Tell them about how bad things really are for you! TELL THEM what you are considering doing! Then TELL THEM ABOUT WHAT I WROTE HERE! Ask them to help you. Please remember you can always choose to run away tomorrow or another day. Please make running away your last-resort! It is something you can ALWAYS DO! But please TRY EVERYTHNG else first!
This was one of the most important days in my life as this was the day I met Mrs. ArmXXXXX, she was the family matriarch. She looked me up and down and said, “Jeffery said you paid for your own football camp and came here knowing you had no ride home” I nodded. She opened the door of the white van and as I turned I saw Mr. ArmsXXXX was taking my bag and telling me to jump in and find a place to sit. I was given a ride all the way to my grandparent’s home.
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I was once an unfairly abused young man. I was in a situation where in 5th grade I was force-moved to live with my Dad for a year in Michigan - I was living in Southern California with my Mom & Step-Dad. The year I was moved to Michigan was VERY hard on me, but what was worse was that the promised “Year with your dad,” was not just going to be a year, it was going to be permanent. I found out a month before I was supposed to head back home to California, (I was literally counting the days), I was told, “You are not going back to California,”
Find a family member (Uncle, Cousin, Grandma, Grown Sibling, Aunt,) or even a close family friend. Someone that you KNOW that loves you and cares about your welfare! You MUST be able to trust them (you do not want them telling your Mom & Dad everything you tell them), but tell them what you are thinking about doing.
This was pre-cellular phone, so I ran to a store, as I was all bloodied, they allowed me to use their phone, I called my friend and he came and got me. Did I go to the Police? No. Why? I was a runaway and I would have been taken to my Parents. What happened to me, happened. I got no justice, none. But and I say this with pride, but I also know just how lucky I was, usually they beat you up, then get you started on drugs without you knowing, I awoke and was able to get the fuck out. I don’t know how, but I was not going to die in that room – I just acted.
2) Because my grades were shit and I had zero parental help, I decided to join the US Marine Corps after graduation. I served my 6-year enlistment term and even made the rank of Corporal (I do not recommend this endeavor as a career, but that is a WHOLE other conversation)
Since my dad was a weak weasel, my step-monster gave me the news: “Your Mom and Stepdad have divorced, You will stay here and live with us.”
I learned the most important lesson and that was that I could not trust ANYONE, I could only trust those that I knew before I was a runaway and living on-the-streets. And Again to be fully truthful, without the intervention of Mrs. ArmXXXXX and her family welcoming me to live with them mid-December. I probably would have died or ended up in jail, dead or drug addicted. I can honestly say that I never truly considered going back to my Dad and step-mom, ever. Strangely, I would have been proud to have died before asking those horrible fucking people for help. (These are the thoughts of a 16-17 year old, but they were very valid then).You must know that these Unintended Consequences are going to occur. I truly thought I had thought of everything, but I again, I suppose I only thought of things that 16-17 year old would think of.
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I am going to high school this entire time and working when and where I could! So here is my suggestion/recommendation: IF YOU HAVE DECIDED and YOU ARE GOING TO RUNAWAY:
It was not my fault, I was sixteen. I thought about things a sixteen-year-old cares and knows about, but “What I did not know, I did not know!” The $$$ in my bank account went really fast. As a 16-year old I was unable to secure a hotel room or an apartment as I was too young, I was TOO YOUNG for nearly everything, I could not get an apartment and therefore I was living out of my car and the weather changed and on and on. So it is NOT what you have planned for, it is what happens to you along the way that will surely blindside you.
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Flash forward to nine days of being Fired, it was Saturday morning, December 16th at 6:07 a.m. I awoke to a steady knocking on my car window, then on my hood, thenon my deck-lid… It started on my driver’s side, then moved around my car until the knocking was directly next to me head. I figured it was the Police again, they would move me, if I were in a place they did not want me to park and sleep. So what does one do? Well, if you have ever slept in a freezing car, you cannot really see out of the windows, they get steamed up and frozen etc… So I opened the car door and peered from out of my little sleeping bag hole area (With a cold weather sleeping bag, you cinch it closed so 99% of your body is IN THE BAG, then your breathing helps keep your body warm), but I peered up through that little hole, which was really only big enough for my mouth and eyes… WHAT DID I SEE? Who was there?
In fact, she hugged me until we both cried. We said nothing, it was December in Michigan, so obviously very cold, and as it was 6:00 a.m. it was also VERY dark and I sat there being hugged by Jeff’s mom – crying. After what seemed like an eternity, she said, “I have been watching you. Jeff told me how you are living, I was waiting for you to break and head back to your parent’s, but that is obviously not going to happen. This ends today, you now live with us.
This happened to me.
So I found another place to park my hoopdee of-a-car and I was making do. I was showering at my high school, I was still working, but now only one job and it was mid-December. I fully realized it was not going to “Get Warm” for another 4 months at least. I cried a lot. I was angry at God A LOT! During the time that I left in June my dad and stepmom never came looking for me, they had two other young kids to deal with and as such I was truly on-my-own, I was Alone. Ponder that for a moment. I had maybe a thousand in the bank and a few hundred on me (Remember, I told you how fun my Summer was, well, that “fun” was not cheap!), but I was realizing that “Surviving” was a hell of a lot harder than putting up with the bullshit from my step-monster, but I was caught between a rock and a hard place, there was NO WAY I was going back! So what did I do… Nothing. I just made-do and tried to survive, I was trying to think my way out of my problems
I have told you all this because I was certain that leaving me Asshole Dad and my Shithead Step-monster’s house was the best decision I ever made. I remember saying to myself, “Whatever comes, WHATEVER happens to me, it WILL be better!!” I won’t lie. It really was so awesome FOR the first few MONTHS! It was heaven-on-earth from June-July-August, even into September, those months I was FREE! I was making it! - I was my own master; I was not taking anyone’s bullshit. I was damn-proud of myself, but those damn unintended consequences started biting me in the ass. I was just too young and whatever I tried “Being Too Young” was stopping EVERY THING! I was so goddam frustrated… AND REMEMBER,
Can you imagine how that felt? I could not call my grandparents as there were clear they could not or would not pick me up (I forget why, but it was a valid reason – they had doctor’s or something), I thought about calling my actual Parents, but that would mean that I had to admit failure. I would be admitting they were right and I was wrong. I was not sure that they would even come and pick me up. I was NOT going to find that out, FUCK THEM, I was prideful. I would have died before making that phone call or asking them for their help. I truly felt alone in the world. What happened next dumbfounded me and still does. So my plan was to walk over to the freeway entrance and see if I could not hitchhike home. As I started to walk towards the freeway away from the sports complex, a vehicle came from behind me fast at first, then slower, and slower, and it got along side of me so that I am looking eye-to-eye with a female (Mom) that I have never met. I looked beyond her and I see Jeff’s smiling face from WAY WAY in the back, He says, “Did you think we’d would leave you? NAH!?! And he stated laughing!
It’s now mid-November in MI and it gets colder and colder and colder, the sleeping bag was adequate, but again, I was just surviving but living in a 1972 Ford Pinto was more than difficult. My car did not have a bathroom, nor a shower, nor a lot of things. As I worked for a local Shell Gas Station, I would park across the street and run to use their bathroom, as needed. The Midnight attendant was cool and allowed me to do this. THEN it got really bite-ass cold, the cold where they were talking -10 or -15 degrees below zero day-after-day-after-day. I slept in that Shell Gas Station bathroom a couple nights, but the midnight attendant was not having that… So one day after my shift, I snuck keys to the Worker Bays where we housed our Shell Gas Station Tow Truck and I slept in that Two Truck. (We parked the tow truck in the bay at night because how cold it would get at night, let that sink in!) I had thought no one knew I was doing this but in the 3rd week of doing this, the two brothers who owned the gas station woke me up early one Thursday morning. They told me that the Midnight Attendant called them and then they fucking Fired me. It was more of the Universe Grandly Displaying that NO ONE Gave a Shit about ME! They THREW my young 16-year-old ass OUT ON THE STREET! So one great job and place-to-sleep ended immediately and concurrently. (Unintended Consequences) I cannot blame them I was a huge liability and they could lose their business, but they simply said, “go home to your parents.” No help there. Remember, I would have died before I ran back to those fuckers for help…
it should be obvious that you could most-probably find a way to “run-away,” but what you really should be asking is, “How will I survive once I am out of their house and away from _____?”
For YOU, This is my biggest fear and really for ALL those that run away. Yes, this happened to me. I was lucky I wish I could say it was because I was like a John Wick bad ass, but it’s not. If I had not awoken when I did, I am sure that they would have stuck a needle in my arm. I was lucky, I escaped. I assume too many do not.
Unfortunately, this is not a tale that ends with a happy ending, not for quite awhile. Forward to the summer after 7th grade when I was about to enter 8th grade. I went to visit my mother in California, on the night before I was to head back to Michigan she took me shopping and bought me cool school clothes, but the evening ended with her telling me, “I’m sorry, but you won’t be moving back to California,” it was the biggest gut-punch of my life. I could not understand my MOM?! She knew that my stepmother HATED me. WTF?
Be Well, Be Safe and PLEASE Consider Everything BEFORE you decide to Runaway. The World and Other Humans can be downright EVIL to young kids, especially those that have chosen to be on-their own (JUST Like I did - and Just Like YOU are considering) I hate ending this note, like this because I WANT to help you, I do not know you, I do not know where you live, but I KNOW what can happen to you, so again, If ALL I CAN DO now to try and help you is to Pray, then I will pray for you. I will continue to help by sharing my experience on this page andI will never stop trying to help those who are considering making a choice to run away.